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It was time for Father John’s Saturday night bath, and young nun, Sister
Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old
nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at
Father John’s nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to
do, and pray.
The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday
night bath had gone.
“Oh, sister,” said the young nun dreamily.
“I’ve been saved”.
“Saved?” “And how did that fine thing come about?”, asked
the old nun.
“Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him,
and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs
where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven.”
“Did he now?” said the old nun evenly.
Sister Magdalene continued,
“And Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of
Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured of salvation and
eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my
“Is that a fact?”, said the old nun even more evenly.
“At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to Heaven
was always painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart
with ecstacy. And it did, it felt so good being saved”.
“That wicked old Devil!” said the old nun. “He told me it was Gabriel’s
Horn, and I’ve been blowing it for 40 years!”.